A Mothers' Goodbye
by GinaGold fan
Summary: 13. Wow haven't written a story in ages. Well this one is going to be a bit sad so be ready with the hankies.sniffle. plz r and r xx
1. Chapter 1

_**Ok this is my next story. I haven't written anything in a while but here it goes. Please review and tell me what you think.**_

Alex sat in her kitchen one Saturday morning. The clock was edging closer towards ten o'clock, and Caras' Dad David still had not arrived. He was supposed to collect his daughter at nine to take her away for the weekend. Alex and David had split up before Cara was born, since then Alex had always felt that David was constantly letting Cara down. He was never on time, would cancel at the last minute and sometimes wouldn't show at all.

Cara was now 14 and quite used to her Dads ways. No matter how much he let her down though, Cara would always forgive him, and this annoyed Alex a lot.

David had moved to Spain about a year previously, and was only back in Britain temporarily. He had been trying for the last month, (since he returned) to persuade Alex to let Cara move to Spain and spend time with him and his new family. Alex hated the idea and didn't want it to happen. David wasn't accepting no for an answer, and Alex wasn't prepared to give him a yes. David wanted Cara to make the decision, but Alex couldn't let her decide between them. So Alex said she would think about it.

Alex drank the last of her cup of coffee and walked across to the sink. As she did so her back door opened and in walked Gina dressed in her uniform.

"You were supposed to be at work nearly an hour ago." She said as she hugged her daughter.

"I know Mum, I'm sorry, but David hasn't shown up yet. I've phoned him a few times but he's not answering." Alex replied sounding exasperated.

"I thought as much. Don't worry 'bout it. We're not understaffed anyway." Gina reassured.

Alex walked over to the kettle and was filling it with water when there was a knock at the front door.

"Ah that'll be him now." Alex said irritably.

"Don't be too angry with him; not in front of Cara anyway. He's her Dad no matter what, and seeing the two of you at each others' throats isn't going to improve the situation, is it?" Gina explained.

Alex knew her Mum was right and relented a little.

Cara walked in to the kitchen closely followed by David. He was a tall bloke with short blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts; All things that first attracted Alex to him.

"Where have you been? You said nine, it is now ten." Alex asked as calmly as she could.

"Well done Alex you can tell the time." He mocked. Cara glanced up at her Dad and glared slightly.

Alex sighed and waited for an explanation.

"Jacquie wasn't feeling well. This pregnancy is taking its toll on the both of us." He answered.

"Well you'd better get going then hadn't you? After all, we don't want Jacquie left on her own." Alex said.

Cara ran in to the hall and grabbed her bag of things and David followed her out to the car. Alex went out to say goodbye to her daughter.

"Now you be good and do as your Dad says ok? Phone me and let me know when you get to wherever he is taking you, alright?" She said as she held Cara close.

"Yeah will do Mum, bye." Cara replied quickly before running to the car.

Alex watched the car as it drove off, Cara waved out of the back window as it did.

"Right we'd better get going ourselves, otherwise we may not have a drugs case left to work on when we get back." Gina said as she joined her daughter.

"Yeah, how is that going? I've spent ages on this and would hate for it to fall apart now. That little toe rag Buster Jones has a lot to answer for." Alex said as she got into the car next to her Mum.

For the past month CID and Uniform had been working together on a massive drugs deal. A low level junkie named Andy 'Buster' Jones was well known to Alex for petty theft and drug offences. He had been arrested by Tony Stamp and Rodger Valentine on suspicion of robbery a few weeks previously. This sparked a huge operation which the Superintendent even got involved with. The reason for this was discovered during the interview. Jones' had found a new dealer after his previous one had gone down for a twelve year stretch.

This new guy was far more ruthless and devious than his predecessor. Buster had got himself into a lot of debt; he owed nearly ten grand and had no way of paying it back. The dealer was forcing Buster to do jobs for him to try and pay back some of his debt, only CID was more interested in getting the bigger fish than the small fry. The dealers name was Salim Haaque, and it turned out that he worked for someone called Archie Foster. Foster was a notorious career criminal and CID were desperate to pin something on him.

"To be honest at the moment I couldn't tell you what was happening. The Super is being a pain; he is so desperate to get a result he's getting in the way. I'm not convinced we're going to get a result on this one. Archie Foster is bad news; we've never been able to pin anything on him." Gina sighed with frustration.

Gina had been after Foster for a very long time; in fact it spanned for most of her career. During the course of the investigation, concern for the safety of the officers involved had increased. There were three SO10 officers placed undercover as drug runners. One of Fosters' top men was arrested after information was passed to Sun Hill officers about a different case; the undercover officer was revealed to be a grass and subsequently beaten. The officer was put into intensive care as a result of his injuries. Luckily no-one in Fosters firm had twigged he was a copper but needless to say it had left everybody on edge.

Alex had been deeply involved with the case. Buster Jones had become her sort of informant over the past couple of years, and she worked closely with him on this case.

Alex and Gina walked towards CID almost immediately after arriving at the station. There was some serious tension amongst top brass and it concerned Alex a lot.

"Inspector Gold can we have a word please?" John Heaton said as he beckoned Gina into his office.

Gina looked at Alex and shrugged her shoulders. Alex made her way in to CID to catch up with the morning gossip. She sat on the edge of Jo's desk and chatted happily with the other officers; she had one eye on the door though waiting for her Mum to come in. She was curious to find out what the Super wanted with her that needed such urgency. She didn't have long to wait to find out what it was, except it wasn't her Mum that came through for her, it was Jack Meadows. He walked through the swing doors and looked straight at her.

"Sergeant MacDonald, can you follow me please?" He said as he hovered in the doorway.

Alex got up and walked over to her Gov'ner, she followed him into the Superintendent's office. She saw her Mum sat in one of the chairs in front of Heatons' desk. Gina looked as white as a sheet and as for the Superintendent, he looked very worried.

"What's happened?" Alex asked quietly.

"Andy Jones was found dead this morning by Jamaica Docks. He had been beaten almost beyond recognition and then shot. This note was found in his mouth." Heaton explained as he handed Alex the note that was contained in a plastic evidence bag.

"This is what we do to grasses. Anyone involved with him will suffer the consequences, filth and all." Alex read aloud.

"We've had a tip off that you were seen talking to Jones a couple of nights ago, in the alley just off Brude road. We're concerned that the last part may be referring to you, although it could apply to all of us." Heaton said.

"Uh huh, so does this mean I'm off the case then?" She replied with a slight smile.

"The operational duties only, we still want your input in CID." Jack explained.

"Well I suppose that is only fair." Alex tried to make light of the situation.

Deep down though, everyone knew this news wasn't good. Gina and Alex walked down the back stairs to the sergeants' corridor and into Gina's office.

"Are you ok?" Gina asked as she made them both a cup of coffee.

"Yeah I think so. I've had death threats before and coped alrigh', why should this be any different?" She tried to reply calmly but didn't sound very convincing.

"Yes but this is different. Archie Foster is a very dangerous man; I just need to make sure you're alright." She said as she handed Alex her cup.

"I'm fine, surprisingly. I did expect to feel... I don't know, scared I guess, but I feel nothing. In all honesty, I'm more worried about what I'm going to do about Cara. David's given me an ultimatum about letting Cara move to Spain with him." Alex explained as she took a gulp from the steaming hot liquid in front of her.

"Have you asked Cara what she would like?" Gina asked.

"No I haven't. I don't want her to feel like we're making her choose between me and David. No child should be made to choose between their parents', it's not right." Alex said irritably.

The truth of the matter was that she was scared to tell Cara in case she chose David over her. She didn't want to lose her daughter to a country where she would never see her.

"Where's he taken her for the weekend?" Gina Pressed.

"I'm not sure where exactly, but I think it's some sort of activity centre type thing. She'll have a ball I'm sure." Alex commented.

At that moment there was a loud knock at the office door. It was Smithy looking as if something very serious had happened; and unfortunately, something had.

"Alex, David is in the front office for you. It's Cara, she's gone missing."


	2. Chapter 2

Alex didn't hear the rest of Smithy's words; they were drowned out by the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach. She ran out of the office and headed as quickly as she could through the station to the front office.

When she opened the door David rushed towards her. He looked as worried as she did.

"What the hell happened?" Alex exclaimed.

"We were at the Crystal Palace Park, she said she was heading to the toilet and she just disappeared. We searched for over an hour but there was no sign, and she's not answering her mobile." David explained in a quick jumbled heap.

"Right, follow me." Alex said calmly as she led David to the soft interview room, closely followed by Gina and Smithy.

Once she got David settled in the room, she spoke to Smithy and Gina outside.

"You don't suppose this has anything to do with Archie Foster do you? Only this isn't like Cara and after that threat this morning..." Alex started to say.

"We can't be certain of it but I'd much rather not take any chances." Gina said authoritatively as she took control of the situation. "We need to inform the Superintendant and the DCI."

"This is serious isn't it?" Alex said as it suddenly dawned on her what they were facing.

"Yeah sweetheart it is, but we'll find her." Gina replied comfortingly.

Smithy ran up to CID to inform the DCI, Gina went to speak to the Superintendant, and Alex stayed with David. She tried talking to him to find out exactly what happened, but he couldn't tell her much. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before someone came to speak to them.

John came in with Sam. They both looked shocked but dealt with everything professionally.

"First we would both like to say that we are doing everything we can to find Cara; it's obviously paramount that we find her as soon as possible. Hopefully Alex we've jumped to conclusions and she's trying to get back, but..."

"But it's possible Foster has her." Alex finished for her senior officer.

"Unfortunately that's a strong possibility." Sam explained.

Gina sat next to her daughter and placed her arms round her shoulders. Alex appreciated the support but was desperate to find her 'little girl'.

"Right, where should we start?" She asked as she stood up and faced her superior officers.

"Well, we are going to call a briefing with uniform and CID. We need you to find the most recent photo you have of Cara, just in case we need to appeal. Gina are you alright to call uniform in off patrol?" Sam asked.

"Yes I will do it immediately." Gina said as she made her way through to IBO.

"Sir, I want to be involved. I can't sit back and watch everything happen, I need to help find my daughter." Alex pleaded.

"I'm not sure that's a very good idea Alex. You are too personally involved. " John replied.

"Please Sir, I promise I won't get in the way, but I need to help." She said.

John thought about it for a few seconds. "DI Nixon is going to take David's statement once we've briefed the team. If you make your way up to CID and we will meet you there for the briefing." He said as he gave in to her pleading.

Outside CID, Smithy was stood talking to Jo Masters; when he saw Alex he broke off from his conversation and walked towards her.

"Alex, are you alright?" He said as he pulled her into a tight, comforting hug.

"Yeah, yeah I think so. I don't think it's completely sunk in yet. I just need to focus on finding my daughter safe and sound." She explained with a sigh, but the worry in her voice was evident.

"Sergeants MacDonald and Smith, we're about to start the briefing." Jack said as he poked his head out of the main door into CID.

"Right Gov we're coming through now." Smithy said before giving his wife one last sympathetic, yet comforting smile.

In CID Jack and John stood in front of most of the relief. There were several uniformed officers as well as everyone from CID.

"Right, thanks to those of you who have come in from patrol. Some of you know that CID has been working closely with covert ops on a serious drugs case. Now the main target is a dangerous man, Archie Foster. We believe he had one of our informants, Andy 'Buster' Jones, killed after he gave us some information that has put a major player in Fosters firm behind bars. Found in his mouth was a note." A copy of the note was passed round the officers. "Now we took this threat very seriously but now a more worrying situation has arisen." Superintendent Heaton explained.

"About an hour ago Cara MacDonald went missing. For those of you who don't know who Cara is, she is Sergeant Alex MacDonald's eldest daughter. Alex has been majorly involved in this case from the beginning, so we think this is why she has been targeted. Hopefully we are jumping the gun with this and Cara has just gone round to a friend's house, but we can't take any chances." Jack finished explaining.

"We have decided to pull the drugs bust operation because it's too dangerous; the stakes are now raised, and I'm not willing to risk the lives of the officers who were undercover. I want as many officers as possible to get down to the area where Cara was last seen, follow up any leads no matter how big or small you think it may be." John said finally as he ended the briefing.

All of the officers immediately headed out of CID to start work, although not before giving Alex words of encouragement and support.

"Is there anything I can do to help Sir?" Alex asked John once most of her colleagues had left.

"We need you to stay here Alex and compile a list of friends, relatives or places that you can think of where Cara may have gone. Unfortunately you know the drill and you can't be too involved in the investigation." John replied sympathetically.

Alex hated feeling so helpless and the fact she couldn't really be involved with the search for her child frustrated her even more.

"Ok Sir I'll speak to her Dad and see what he can tell me." Alex said as she gave in to the idea a bit.

"DC Perkins is going to be your FLO. He's in the soft interview room already with your ex-husband." Jack added.

Alex rejoined Smithy and they headed slowly towards the SIR.

"Are the other four ok with your Mum still? I mean nothing has happened to them?" Alex asked him nervously.

"Yeah they're fine; I've asked her to make her way down with them. She wants to be close to us and help the best she can." Smithy explained.

Alex smiled weakly at him, and then her lip quivered as she gave in to the tears that had been threatening to make their way down her face. Smithy pulled her close and let her sob into his chest.

After a couple of minutes she looked up at him, her face streaked and tear stained.

"What if they don't find her?" She asked quietly.

"Don't talk like that, of course they'll find her. Cara's a fighter you know, I'm sure if someone has her she'll be giving them hell; bit like her Mum like that." He replied.

Alex gave a slightly choked laugh. She knew Smithy was right; Cara could get through anything, she was very strong willed and wouldn't take any hassle from anyone.

They started walking again towards the interview room. Gina was already there with David, his wife, and 12 year old daughter Rachel. Alex felt uncomfortable being in the same room as David. She felt vulnerable and hated anyone seeing her like that, but particularly detested David seeing her like that.

For the first few seconds no-one said a word. Alex just stood close to Smithy, who had his arm wrapped protectively round her. Finally she made her way towards the couch and sat next to her Mum.

"We need a recent photo of Cara. Do you happen to have one in the station or can you get one at all?" Terry asked.

"I have her school photo on my desk." Gina said on behalf of her daughter.

Alex had suddenly gone very quiet, withdrawn and had stopped listening to what was being said to her. She couldn't understand how this was happening to them. It had taken her a long time to trust David again and now she felt he had let her down.

When they divorced 14 years ago Alex wasn't aware she was pregnant with Cara. She had ended her relationship with David after discovering him in bed with another woman. Under any other circumstances she may have been able to forgive his infidelity, but he cheated on her at a time she needed him most. Just a few weeks prior they had lost their nine month old son Jamie. He was killed in a car accident which left Alex distraught. When she found out she was pregnant with Cara she had just moved into the house next door to Gina. She decided she didn't want anything to do with her ex husband and didn't tell him about his daughter. Then when Cara was about eight they bumped into him outside Caras' school, David was collecting his daughter Rachel from the same school. Alex still hadn't wanted to let him near her daughter, but David threatened to take her to court if she didn't allow him access.

Gina made her way to her office to get the photo from her desk. She could feel her daughters' pain and hated the fact she couldn't do very much to help. Davey was coming across from the pub which was just up the road from the station, and she was expecting him anytime soon.

Silence had descended in the room. Alex couldn't keep still; she raised herself from the comfort of the couch and perched on the table by the window. She sat and watched the cars driving past, the people below going about their daily business. Smithy made his way across to her. He placed one hand just above her hip and the other on her shoulder. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and he pulled her closer.

"It's going to be alright, you just have to hang in there." Smithy whispered as he placed his forehead against Alexs'.

"I'm not sure if I can. She's been gone for nearly two hours and unfortunately no one knows anything yet." She whispered back.

David was sat on the couch facing Alex and Smithy. He sat and watched his ex-wife and her husband, watched how close they were and he didn't like it at all.

"Alex our daughter is missing, and all you can do is sit and grope and flirt with someone you've been with for all of about five minutes." He shouted as he jumped up from the seat.

David always brought out the worst in Alex, but in the circumstances her nerves were already frazzled and short.

"How dare you. For a start, not that it is any of your business, but I have been with Smithy for the past two years; we have been married a year and a half and very close friends for fifteen. Smithy has helped me through so many things during the course of our friendship I can't count them. Some of those situations weren't very nice and when I needed my friends and family most he was first in the queue." Alex shouted at him. Smithy had to hold her back from punching him; she was getting that close.

"Oi, Oi, Oi." Gina shouted and placed herself between them. "This isn't going to solve anything right now, and it certainly isn't going to help find Cara."

Alex relaxed a little in Smithys' grip. She knew her Mum was right and couldn't believe she had risen to Davids' goading. Gina stepped closer to her daughter and protectively wrapped her arms round her. She pulled her quietly towards the seats and glared at David as she walked passed.

For the next half hour or so nobody said anything. Alex sat and made a list of friends and family that Cara could have contacted, or have gone to if she was in trouble. Davey had arrived with Nicola in tow, as had Pauline with the other four children. Alex started to pace back and fourth again.

"I don't think I can cope with much more of this. I'm going to go to the Super and ask him if I can check out the list of friends and family." She said as she made her way towards the door.

"Err... do you really think that's a good idea?" Smithy asked as he grabbed his wifes' arm.

"It's as good as any. I'll go mad if I stay round here any longer." She replied.

"Right well in that case I'm coming with you." Smithy added.

Alex didn't argue, if anything she was glad he had offered to come. They made their way to Johns' office and told him what they were going to do. He agreed that they could go and speak to their contacts and friends on the condition that they reported straight back to him if they found anything.

They got into their car and made their way to the first name on Alexs' list.

"So who shall we see first then?" Smithy asked as he turned out of the station car park.

"My sister Heather, Cara has become very close to her as you know, so I think she'd probably go there or phone Heath' if she was in trouble." Alex explained calmly.

She felt more comfortable outside the station now and away from David.

"Would you like me to take him into the yard when we get back and give him a kicking?" Smithy asked jokingly about David.

"Aw, would you do that for me?" Alex replied with a mocked tone of innocence.

"I know it's hard, and I know you hate spending more than five minutes with the bloke, but he is Caras' Dad. He is probably feeling the same as you." Smithy said as he placed his hand on Alexs' knee affectionately.

"You're right of course, I just find him so difficult. I was seventeen when I married him, thought he was the love of my life and he let me down when I needed him the most." She replied sounding exasperated. "The worst thing is he has never got over the fact that I moved on from him. He doesn't like the fact that I married you and that we have children together."

"I did get the feeling he didn't like me very much." Smithy replied.

"I wouldn't take it to heart. He's an arsehole end of story." Alex said with a slight smirk.

Smithy drove the area car into the street where Heather and her partner lived. When they got out they approached the front door, they were about to knock when it opened before they got a chance. Heather stood in front of them with a heavily pregnant belly.

"Hey Heath, sorry to bother you." Alex said as politely as she could and trying to hide the worry in her voice.

"Why do I get the feeling this isn't a social call?" Heather replied with a slightly suspicious yet worried tone.

"That's because it sort of isn't." Alex replied cautiously. "Can we come in for a few minutes please?"

Heather stepped aside and showed them both into the lounge.

"So what's this about? Is it Dad or Gina? Is Nicola ok?" Heather began asking.

"It's a difficult one to explain, I need you to take a seat for me." Alex said before continuing. "Heather I need to know if you have seen or spoken to Cara in the past two hours."

"Cara? No I haven't seen her since yesterday afternoon. She was telling me all about her trip out today with her Dad. Has something happened?" Heather said.

Alex couldn't contain her tears and distress any longer. She nodded her head and Heather moved from the chair she was sat in and placed herself next to her older sister.

"Cara went missing from Crystal Palace Park about two and a half hours ago. I can't say too much, but we think we've been targeted because of an investigation I was involved in. We haven't heard anything from her or the person who may have her." Alex sobbed.

Heather tried to comfort her sister the best she could. There was seven years between Alex and Heather, and although they had only met about a year ago they had become close.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart; I don't know what else to say. I wish I could tell you something good. If I hear anything from her, or anyone else I will let you know straight away. Would you like a cup of coffee?" Heather asked.

"No thank you. We should be getting on. I have a list of friends and relatives I need to check out." Alex replied as she got up and brushed the tears from her eyes.

Heather opened the front door and let them out, she gave her sister one last hug before waving them off. Alex left feeling heavy hearted, distressed, distraught and even more helpless than before.

"I'm not sure I want to keep going with this. Will you take me back to the station please?" She asked with a croaky voice.

"Whatever you feel is best." Smithy replied.

They drove back to the station in silence. Neither knew what to say to the other, Alex no longer felt she had the energy to say anything. They walked in through the back entrance where Callum met them.

"Alex, Smithy, the Super and DCI want to see you in CID immediately." He said as they passed him.

They headed up as quickly as they can and went into the CID briefing room. Gina was sat at the table with David, Jack and John.

"What's happened?" Alex said looking at Gina.

"A 'courier' came into the station with a package. Inside was this necklace and a note." Gina explained as she handed Alex the items.

The necklace was a chain with a wedding and engagement ring attached.

"Oh my God, this belongs to Cara. I gave her these a couple of years ago. It's my wedding and engagement rings from when I was married to her Dad." She explained. She then glanced at the note that had come with it.

_You have 72 hours to give me what I want or the girl gets it._

"I don't get it, what is it that he's wanting?" Smithy asked.

David sat silently in the chair but looked very uncomfortable.

"We've no idea at this stage. Eddie is checking the envelope for any forensic evidence and I'm going to take the note and necklace to him now." Jack explained.

Smithy wasn't sure how to feel. He looked at Alex and saw how much pain she was in, and he felt lost and hurt because there was nothing he could do to take away that pain.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Alex asked, trying to push the bad thoughts out of her mind.

"Not just now Alex. I think it best if you all go home and leave the investigation to us. If we need you we will call you." Jack said.

Alex tried to argue back, but Gina took hold of her daughter and almost forced her out of CID; David and Smithy followed closely behind.

David left the station and headed home with his family, Alex did the same with hers. Both Gina and Smithy were trying to comfort Alex the best they could, but neither knew what to say or do to help.

At the station they were pulling out all the stops to try and find Cara alive. Heaton had Eddie running every test he possibly could to identify who wrote the note and sent the necklace. He had phoned Heatons' office to let him know that the attacker wore gloves, therefore no fingerprints; however whoever sent the note had made a stupid mistake, he licked the envelope before sealing it.

"It will probably be a further 24 hours before I get the DNA results back Sir, but I'll try speeding them up as quickly as I can." Eddie replied after Heaton demanded he get quick results.

Once Heaton replaced the phone handset he walked through to the office next door to speak to Jack.

"Eddie has had a result on some DNA on the envelope but we won't get a result on it until tomorrow. How has everybody else got on, any leads?" Heaton asked his DCI.

"Sam thinks she may have found three associates of Fosters with form for kidnapping, she and Neil are checking them out now. A part from that we will just have to wait until tomorrow." Jack explained.

"You're right Jack, best wait until the morning and start a fresh. Tell the team they can head home and I will brief them in the morning." Heaton said before leaving the office and heading home himself.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Gina sat at her kitchen table with a strong cup of coffee in front of her. She and Davey had been up most of the night trying to console Alex. She was naturally distressed but no one could comfort her, no matter what they said or did.

Davey came down from the bathroom and saw Gina sitting at the table. He knew she was feeling the strain at the moment as well; she was trying to stay strong for Alex, when inside she was also crumbling.

"Would you like another one of those?" He asked as he watched her swallow the last mouthful from her cup.

She nodded her head in a way of a sleepy reply. Davey took her mug and placed it in front of the kettle.

"Is Nicola still in bed?" She asked, trying to make some form of conversation.

"Yeah, she's exhausted as well. Is there any news from the station?" He asked as he handed Gina the fresh mug of steaming coffee.

"Nope, I would have thought they'd have phoned by now though. I'll maybe pop next door and see how Alex is. Hopefully she's managed to get some rest." She replied as she moved towards her back door.

Gina made her way to the back door of Alexs' house that led into the kitchen. Alex and Smithy had a large house; the kitchen had a separate dining room, and there was an area where the table and chairs should have gone in the kitchen, but was now used as a chill out area instead. There was a couch and two smaller armchairs and a coffee table.

When Gina walked into the kitchen she very nearly walked right into Smithy.

"Oh sorry Smithy, I didn't see you. Where's Alex?" She asked.

Smithy drew her attention to Alexs' sleeping form on the sofa next to them

"She exhausted herself crying, she's been up all night and when she finally dropped off I didn't have the heart to wake her." He whispered his reply.

"Probably a good idea, she needs as much rest as she can get. Has the station been in touch with you yet?" Gina asked as she tried to keep her voice as low as possible.

"No not yet, Terry said last night though that he'd be round first thing, so he should be here any time now. Do you want a cup of coffee?" Smithy said as he moved around the kitchen.

"No thanks, if I drink any more coffee I'll be bouncing off the walls." She joked.

Molly came running in when she heard Ginas' voice. Gina picked her up and held her close.

"Hello Granny." Molly said loudly as she planted a large kiss on Ginas' cheek.

"Shhhh sweetheart, we don't want to wake up Mummy." Gina whispered as she tried to get Molly to be quiet. Molly nodded her head enthusiastically and placed her finger to her lips.

"You lot couldn't be quiet if your lives depended on it."Alex said sleepily as she sat up. "I've been awake for awhile but couldn't be bothered opening my eyes."

"Sorry darlin' if we woke you." Gina replied.

"You didn't, honest I have been awake for a while." Alex yawned.

Smithy made her a drink whilst Gina sat beside her.

"How you bearing up?" Gina asked.

"I'm as good as can be expected I guess." Alex replied with a very weak smile. "Listen, there was something I wanted to run past you both; it's about David."

"What about him?" Smithy asked as he sat opposite his wife.

"Well David has always... how should I put this?... had a few fingers in a few pies. He used to keep some very shady company and it occasionally got him into hot water."

"So what are you suggesting exactly?" Gina asked cautiously.

"I've been thinking about Foster and his firm; this just isn't his style. He likes things to be personal, but it's usually a good kicking or a bullet in the back of the head of the person he has a grievance with. I just can't see him doing this, it's not his style. Also, I don't know if either of you noticed, but when we were looking at the necklace, David looked very uncomfortable, but not in the parental way you would expect. I think David may have got involved in something way out of his league, I just don't know what this something could be." Alex explained to a rather stunned Smithy and Gina.

"But Cara is his daughter; can you honestly believe he would have anything to do with her abduction?" Smithy replied; he just couldn't take it in.

"I don't know, but he's hiding something; I just don't know what." Alex said with frustration.

"But Alex, seriously think about what you're suggesting. Smithy is right; can you seriously think he would risk his daughters' life to save his own skin?" Gina explained. She knew things between Alex and her ex had never been great since they split, but she couldn't believe he would have anything to with Caras' disappearance.

"Yeah you're right; I'm just trying to make sense of the situation I guess." She relented and agreed that it was a daft suggestion, but it was one she couldn't put to the back of her mind.

For the next hour or so Alex sat with her children trying to act as normal as possible. Gina and Smithy were helping as best they could as four children ran round screaming, laughing and creating as much havoc as possible. Alex wouldn't have it any other way though.

Terry arrived at the house at about half past ten. Smithy opened the door to him and the two men walked into the kitchen without saying very much. Alex made him a cup of tea before they all sat down.

"We expected you round sooner than this." Smithy commented to his colleague, trying to break the silence more than anything.

"Yeah I know and I'm sorry; something cropped up in the early hours of this morning that needed an urgent briefing." Terry explained ominously.

"Have they found her?" Alex said jumping up from where she was sat.

Terry stood up to face her.

"Not yet, but it's probably best if you come to the station. The Gov'ner would like to see you as soon as possible." He explained.

Alex felt like her heart had stopped beating; it had to be bad news of some sort, why else would top brass be all cloak and dagger about the situation?

Terry made his way out to the car to wait for them. Alex stood forlornly in the middle of the kitchen as Smithy went towards the front door to get their coats. Gina had nipped next door to get her own coat and to explain to Davey what was going on. As smithy reappeared he looked at Alex who simply burst in to tears. Neither said anything to the other, but Smithy quickly placed the coats on the back of the settee and wrapped his arms around his wife. She clung to him tightly and sobbed uncontrollably.

"What if it's bad news? What if they've found her body and they want to tell me themselves because of the position I hold at the station?" She said through tears.

Smithy held her face in his hands gently, making sure she was looking at him.

"If they had found her they would have told you before now." He said trying to comfort her. He really didn't know what to say to ease her pain and he was finding it difficult.

"Right you two, let's not keep Terry waiting." Gina said as both she and Davey walked in, followed by Heather and Nicola. "Heather is going to look after the kids whilst we're at the station." She added.

"Are you sure Heath? I mean there's five screaming kids aged 6 and under, are you sure they won't be too much to handle in your condition?" Alex asked with concern.

"Of course, we'll be fine. After all I need the practice don't I?" She tried to make light of the situation.

Alex smiled and gave a slight laugh before hugging her sister.

"Thank's darlin', I owe you one." She replied.

Terry drove Davey, Gina, Smithy and Alex to the station. Alex sat in the back between her Mum and husband. Nobody spoke during the twenty minute journey. Instead Smithy comforted Alex with his arm round her shoulders, pulling her into a one armed hug. Gina held her daughters hand as her way of offering support.

Alex still couldn't believe that any of this was happening. She held tightly onto Smithys' hand as they made their way up to CID. For once Alex didn't care about the public show of affection towards her husband, she needed to hold him tight and keep him close beside her.

They walked into the CID briefing room together closely followed by Gina and Davey. Alex braced herself for the worst.

"I understand you wanted to see me sir." She said as she approached John.

"Your ex husband came to see us at 7.30 this morning. He received a phone call late last night telling him to take £50,000 to a warehouse near Jamaica docks by 6.30 this morning. He was told not to involve us or to inform anyone else what he was doing. Whoever he spoke to said Cara would be with him and he would get her back unharmed if he did as they said." John explained.

"Why do I get the feeling there's a but coming?" Alex said sounding numb.

"Alex, David did exactly as he was told but he could barely scrape five grand together, never mind fifty. He took it to the warehouse as instructed and hoped it would buy us enough time to get more together. The thing is it had the opposite effect. The kidnappers are now very angry and told him that he was going to regret his actions." John said as Alex grabbed a chair and almost collapsed into it.

"They're going to kill her aren't they?" She said quietly and to no one in particular.

"We have every available officer out there following up every lead. Almost all the late shift has volunteered to stay behind to help continue with the search." He offered as words of reassurance.

Alex didn't reply, she couldn't; at that moment every possible image was running through her mind. She couldn't count the amount of times that she had sat in front of parents whose child was missing and thought she understood what they were going through; but really she had no idea.

"Where's David now?" She asked as she tried to remain calm.

"He's with Jo Masters looking at mug shots to see if he can identify the men he met with this morning." Explained the Superintendent.

For the next 45 minutes nobody said a word to each other. Alex couldn't sit still and kept pacing around the room. Finally the silence was broken when David re-entered the briefing room. He looked at Alex when he walked in, quickly hung his head and sat down in the chair furthest from her. Alex didn't say anything but looked suspiciously at him instead. She couldn't get her suspicions about his involvement out of her mind.

She kept looking at him and analysing his body language, trying to work out what he was thinking. David noticed her watching him and it made him feel uncomfortable until he couldn't take it any longer.

"Is there something you want to say Alex? Only I can't take you breathing down my neck any longer." He shouted nervously.

"Well actually now you come to mention it there is something I want to say. I'm trying to work out why you were contacted instead of me. If this is to do with my case as we first suspected then it should have been me they contacted. So why were you chosen?" She said. Her voice wasn't raised like Davids' had been, but she was standing up with her arms folded and she looked very unpredictable.

"I don't know you tell me? Maybe they thought I would pose less of a threat because I'm not a copper." He suggested nervously and unconvincingly.

"David, do you have anything to do with her disappearance?" She asked him out right, tired of playing stupid games.

David was about to reply when the Superintendent walked in. Alex jumped when she heard the door open. She looked at John expectantly but he looked at her and shook his head.

"Sorry Alex, there's no news yet. I just wanted to make sure everything in here was ok." He said apologetically.

"Well Sir, David here was just about to explain how he is involved in this." She said angrily waiting for David to reply.

He never got a chance though because Jo Masters came rushing in causing everyone to stop talking. Jo looked gravely at Alex and everyone knew what was about to come.

"Alex, they've found the body of a young female on the river bank 2 miles north from Jubilee Wharf. We need you to come to the mortuary and identify the body." She explained slowly and calmly, making sure Alex understood what she was saying.

Alex couldn't speak but nodded her head slowly to show that she understood. She started towards the door when David tried to follow.

"Don't you dare David. I don't want you anywhere near me right now. The only people I want to come with me are my Mum, my Dad and my husband." She shouted.

"She's my daughter too Alex, I have every right to be there." He replied.

"I don't know how yet, but you are connected to her disappearance. If they have murdered my little girl it is best you are not anywhere near me, because you might just end up being the next one on a slab. You understand me? I want you to tell my boss exactly what you know and I will get Jo to phone from the mortuary." Alex said angrily.

Alex followed Jo out of CID along with Gina, Davey and Smithy. Nobody dared to speak but they were all preparing themselves for the worst. The journey took 35 minutes and all the while Alexs' mind was racing. When they arrived Jo took Alex and her family to a room and stood her in front of a large glass window.

"They haven't started the post mortem yet, so to preserve any forensic evidence they are keeping you behind here." Jo explained.

Alex stared blankly in front of her and at the body that was concealed under the green sheet. The pathologist was standing next to the body ready to reveal who was underneath. Gina stood next to Alex and held her arm tightly and comfortingly with Smithy and Davey hovering behind.

Alex braced herself and then nodded at the pathologist letting him know she was ready. He slowly pulled the cover back and Alexs' eyes widened in shock.

"NOOOOOOO!! Cara... my baby... my beautiful baby..." She sobbed before her knees buckled as she fell to the ground.

Gina tried to support her daughters' weight but couldn't manage as she was overwhelmed by grief as well. The pathologist covered Caras' body again as Gina rocked Alex in her arms. Alex was distraught and her words were no longer coherent.

Smithy supported her weight and moved her over to the bench in front of him, taking over from Gina to comfort his wife as Davey helped Gina from the floor as tears ran down her face. After nearly ten minutes Alexs' sobs became less powerful as her energy began to drain. She was in complete shock but then another feeling began to kick in, anger.

"I want to go back to the station." She said quietly, sounding exhausted.

"Is that a good idea Alex? Would not feel more comfortable at home?" Jo tried to encourage.

"Please Jo; I want to go back to the station." She said.

"Ok." Jo replied, there was nothing more she could say really.

Alex sat quietly staring out of the window all of the way back to the station. She felt angry, distressed, confused and yet numb at the same time. She couldn't believe this was happening to her, but one thing was for sure, her life was never going to be the same again.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Alex arrived back at the station everyone had heard her tragic news. Jo had phoned John Heaton to let him know; he then passed the news to David. He was sat silently in the CID briefing room where Alex had left him.

Alex was furious when she finally reached CID. She wrenched open the doors to the briefing room and David stood up when he saw her. She didn't stop to hear what he had to say; instead she grabbed him and pushed him hard against the wall.

"Tell me who did this to my baby girl?" She shouted inches from his face.

Smithy and Gina had tried to follow Alex as quickly as they could and were seconds behind her, just in time to see her pin David. Smithy was shocked to see this side of his wife, he had never seen her so angry and distressed. Davey had gone back to the house to let Heather know what had happened, leaving Gina and Smithy to deal with Alex.

"Alex please; what's this going to achieve?" Gina said as she slowly approached her daughter.

Alex realised that Gina was right, so she released the grip she had on David and walked over to be beside Smithy. She looked at David expectantly waiting for an answer.

David looked distressed and wasn't sure how he could explain his situation to Alex, without making her more volatile.

"His name is Yusuf Rashid. He's a loan shark. I met him about six months ago after a friend of a friend introduced us. I needed quick cash to pay off some gambling debts and he seemed like a quick fix. I didn't know what he was like and I quickly fell behind on my repayments. The loan was for £15,000 but now I owe him nearly £60,000; the interest was far too high to keep up with. He gave me an ultimatum about a week ago, he said that I could either start working for him or I coughed up the cash. Either way I had to find a way to repay him or my family would suffer." He explained quietly, feeling ashamed and hurt.

"What do you mean you could start working for him? Working how?" Alex asked looking confused.

"He wanted me to join his 'team' of organised thugs/removals people. Basically anyone who couldn't pay were terrorised for a few days; had whatever belongings that were worth anything nicked; and either they paid up by this stage or a member of their family would get a beating. Rashid would then threaten to do the same to each member of your family until you paid up." He replied.

"So how come Cara has ended up dead?" Alex asked as she fought back her tears.

"He isn't the kind of bloke who offers 'jobs' to anyone, only to those he thinks are going to prove useful. The reason he wanted me to be on board, was because he knows I live in Spain. He has some sort of contact out there; I'm not sure what his name is but he deals with drugs and stolen property. Yusuf wanted me to meet this bloke out there and act on his behalf, passing not only information, but illegal items as well." David explained.

"So what? You told him no and still couldn't repay him his money, so he took it out on my child? Is that what happened?" She spat angrily.

David hung his head and didn't reply. He didn't know what to say to Alex to put things right.

"Have you been sat in front of me all this time, knowing who had my daughter and not said a word?" She asked as the thought suddenly occurred to her. She could see by the look on his face that the answer was yes. "How could you put yourself before your own child? I always knew that you were selfish, self centred and didn't care about anyone else's feelings, but this..... When I suggested to my Mum and Smithy that you may have been involved in this somehow, they didn't believe that you could be as low as to put yourself first and have anything to do with my daughters' disappearance. You disgust me. I've dealt with some scum in my time, but you are lower than any of them. I want you out of my sight before I do something I regret." She said calmly but was clearly very angry.

"Alex plea...." David started to say when Alex cut him off.

"OUT!!! GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" She yelled as she finally had had enough.

"I think it best if you go to another part of the station and tell one of my officers exactly what you have told us." John said as he ushered David out once he saw how distressed Alex was becoming.

John escorted David into the soft interview room and asked Kezia Walker to take a statement from him. When he walked back into the CID briefing room he found Gina holding Alex tightly as she sobbed into her chest. Gina looked close to tears herself, but she was managing to stay strong for her daughter. Smithy was trying to comfort both of them the best he could, but in the circumstances even he was finding it difficult.

"Alex I am so very sorry for your loss, and I want you to know we are doing everything we can to bring whoever killed Cara to justice. I think it is best if you go home and be with your family." John said quietly.

Alex pulled away from her Mum slightly and slowly shook her head.

"I want to stay here, close to the investigation." She replied through sobs.

"Come on Alex, let's go home. We should be together as a family right now, not sat here waiting for news. There isn't much more we can do here." Smithy said as he looked into his wifes reddened eyes.

"We'll keep you up to date with any progress we make Alex; but for now you should go home and rest." John encouraged.

Alex no longer had the energy to talk so she nodded her head and made for the door. Gina and Smithy followed behind her, both feeling emotionally drained.

John Heaton left the briefing room and gathered DI's Nixon and Manson, DCI Meadows and DC's Masters and Perkins in his office.

"Right well as you are all aware, Cara MacDonald was found dead first thing this morning." He explained.

"How's Alex taking it?" Sam asked with concern.

"She's taking it badly I'm afraid. This has absolutely devastated her as it would do any parent; but I think it's been made worse by discovering her ex-husbands involvement." John replied to his shocked officers.

"David Fraser is involved? Involved how?" Sam exclaimed.

"He got involved with a loan shark named Yusuf Rashid and couldn't pay him back. Rashid wanted David to start earning his way by becoming his go-between in Spain. Apparently Rashid has a contact there that runs drugs and stolen items for him. David refused so Rashid called in the loan; David couldn't afford to repay him so Rashid took Cara. For Alexs' sake we need to get a result fast. What leads have we got?" He said.

"Well officers are searching the area where Caras' body was found and Eddie is also down there with them. Grace is taking the witness statement from the gentleman and his wife who spotted her." Neil said.

"Ah yes, how exactly did they find her?" Jack asked.

"They were walking their dogs near the docks when one of the dogs ran off to the embankment. The dog actually found her and when it's owners finally caught up to it at the side of the river, it was standing beside her body so they alerted us straight away." Jo explained. "I was one of the first officers on the scene Gov." She added.

"Right well Jo and Sam, I want you to go back to the scene and talk to Eddie. Also ask him if he's got the results back on the envelope yet." Jack ordered.

"Gov." Jo and Sam replied in unison as they made their way out of the office.

"I have Kezia Walker sat in the soft interview with David Fraser taking his statement, but I'd also like you to speak to him Jack." John said.

"Yes of course Sir, and I think DI Manson should brief uniform as well as CID. This'll hit them all hard." Jack added.

"You're right Jack although I would obviously like to speak to them myself at some point. Terry could you make your way to Alexs' house and we'll let you know if there are any developments." John gave his last orders as the remaining officers departed for their duties.

Sam and Jo pulled the CID car into the docks close to where Cara was found and saw several officers in white suits combing the area. They approached Eddie who was examining the spot Cara was found.

"So what have you got for us Eddie?" Sam said as she walked towards him.

"I can place the time of death between 5.30 and 8 this morning. I have several areas of blood spatter which are consistent with two gun shots. The first one happened a couple of meters behind me and then the second was just here." He explained.

"So that was how she died then." Sam stated.

"Yes, we're trying to piece together how she ended up here but we think we have a theory." He said.

"Ok go on." Said Jo.

"Right, there's a lock up or garage of some sort about half a mile from here. We think that was where she was held and somehow she managed to get free and make a run for it out here. When she got to here..." He said as he led them to where the first shot was fired. "This was where she was first shot. Now there were two bullet wounds, one to her head and one to her leg. We think this is where her leg wound occurred because you can see drag marks from here to where the final shot was fired." He finished explaining.

"So what, she was shot and she continued to drag herself away until she was shot dead?" Sam said.

"Yes it looks that way. The post mortem is scheduled for this afternoon, but I can tell you that she had also been badly beaten. She had bruises on her body, but only on her torso and thighs." He added.

"Well thanks Eddie. Will you give me a call if there are any further developments?" Sam said as she turned to walk back towards the car. "Oh just one more thing Eddie. The super wanted to know if the results had come back on the envelope yet."

"Yes they did they were matched to a guy called Salim Haaque." He replied.

"Salim Haaque? Are you sure Eddie?" Sam said sounding surprised.

"Yes I'm positive Samantha, I checked the results myself." He said slightly confused.

"Thanks Eddie." Sam replied.

Jo and Sam walked back towards the car.

"So Salim Haaque is involved. At least we now know Archie Foster and his firm did have something to do with Caras' disappearance." Jo said to her senior colleague as she began to join some of the dots.

"Yeah, the question is though, did Archie Foster actually have anything to do with this; or was it a coincidence that his firm are involved with David Fraser?" Sam said. "Right lets head back to the nic and let the super know what we've got so far." She added.

Back at Alexs' house everyone was sat in silence in the living room. Alex was devastated, as were the rest of the family. Terry stood in the hall talking to Heaton on the phone; Sam and Jo had returned and informed him of what Eddie had found at the scene, and he was now passing this on to Terry.

"Terry, we've got a situation here. We're following up a lead that Archie Fosters firm were in fact involved with Caras' death. The DNA of one of Fosters' close associates was found on the envelope that arrived in the station." John explained.

"Right Sir. Do we know how exactly she died yet? Only Alex is desperate to know, she's even talking about making her way down to the crime scene. I've managed to stall her but I'm not sure for how long." Terry explained in a hushed whisper so Alex wouldn't hear.

"Cara was shot twice. The first shot was to her leg and the second which was the fatal wound was to the head. She was badly beaten on her body as well. Whatever you do Terry; you must keep Alex at home. If she does persist give me a call will you?" John said.

"I certainly will do Sir." Terry replied before he hung up.

He walked back into the living room where Alex was sat next to Smithy on the couch. He has his arm round her shoulders and she'd almost buried her head into his chest. She looked exhausted but wouldn't admit that she was. Gina was also sat in the living room and she too looked exhausted. The strain of the event was clearly taking its toll on everyone, including officers at Sun Hill.

"Have they found anymore information? Can you tell me how my daughter died?" Alex asked, no longer having enough energy to show the distress she felt.

"We do have some new information Alex. We know that she was shot twice; once to the leg and once to the head which was what killed her." Terry explained calmly.

Alex didn't reply but nodded her head slowly.

"There's something else as well that we think you should know. The results on the DNA taken from the envelope we received are now in; they've proved a match for Salim Haaque, one of...."

"One of Archie Fosters' crew. But I thought we decided he had nothing to do with this after all." Alex exclaimed.

"Nothing was ever ruled in or out, but it does seem a bit of a coincidence that your ex husband happens to be involved with the blokes who murdered Buster Jones." Terry commented.

"Well Buster was working for Haaque to help pay off some of his debts and that's what Davids' loan shark wanted him to start doing. Maybe there's more of a connection than we first thought." Alex suggested.

Terrys' phone began to ring again and he walked out to the kitchen to answer it. Whilst he was gone Alex walked out in to the hall and grabbed her coat.

"Where do you think you're goin'?" Smithy said as he followed her out.

"I want to see where it happened. I want to see where my baby died, to try and make some sense of all this crap." She said with frustration as Gina also joined them. "Please guys don't stop me, this is killing me and I need to know for my own peace of mind what happened down there." She added as fresh tears began to show.

"Alright alright, but we're coming with you." Gina said.

"What's going on?" Terry asked as he approached them.

"Alex is going down to the crime scene, and we're going with her." Smithy said as he grabbed his coat.

"Fine then, but hold on for just one minute alright?" Terry said as he disappeared in to the kitchen again.

"Gov'ner its Terry; Alex is insisting she goes down to the docks so I see that I don't have much choice. What do you want to do?" Terry asked as he spoke to John on the phone.

"Ok drive her there and I'll meet you at the docks shortly." John replied as he hung up.

Terry drove Alex, Gina and Smithy to the docks where Caras' body was found. He wasn't sure what this would achieve, but if it helped Alex come to terms with what had happened then he was willing to help.

He pulled the car in to the docks and Alex took a deep breath before getting out. Smithy held her hand as they walked towards Eddie. John had arrived just moments before them and was already talking to Eddie.

"Alex, Smithy... first I'd like to offer you both my condolences." Eddie said as he hugged Alex and shook Smithys' hand. "And to Gina as well of course, after all she was your Granddaughter." He added as he smiled at the Inspector.

"Eddie I want you to tell me everything you know so far." Alex said.

"Um.... right." Eddie said feeling a little nervous. He wasn't sure how much to tell her and how much to leave out. He looked at John who had been filled in with the latest information and he took over.

"We know that Cara was shot twice. We think that she somehow managed to escape from a lock up half a mile away from here and ran along the river bank. Until she got to here; this was where she received her first gunshot wound to her leg. The second occurred a couple of meters away." John explained.

"Where else was she shot?" Alex asked blankly. She couldn't believe any of this was happening.

"She was shot once in the head at close range." John replied. He knew better than to hold anything back but he didn't want to tell her too much.

Smithy put his arm round Alexs' shoulders comfortingly and she held him close. She was about to ask a question when one of Eddie's team called for him.

"Eddie you'd better come to the lock up, we've found something we think you should see." The young guy said.

All four officers and Eddie ran towards the garage to where the CSE was standing.

"We've found some more blood over here and a third bullet casing that we don't believe belong to our victim." He said.

"So what does this mean? We have a second victim out there unknown to us?" John asked with a very worried expression.

"Yes it looks like it." Eddie replied.

"Do we think it's possible they could still be alive?" Alex asked feeling rather numb and confused.

"With the amount of blood it's possible, but whoever this is isn't in great shape and if we don't find them soon then they're not going to be alive for much longer." Eddie explained.

"Right well we obviously need to find this person as soon as possible because they are potentially a witness." John stated.

Everyone headed off to try and find out who the latest victim could be. John ordered Alex home; he felt she'd been distressed enough for one afternoon. Reluctantly she did as she was told and went home to be with her other children. Once she'd got through the door, she was that exhausted that as soon as she sat down on the couch she drifted in and out of a restless kind of sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

At the station John called a briefing immediately to explain the new situation they faced. At this moment in time the new victim had to take priority.

"I want some officers to head down to the scene to help look for the missing victim. At this stage we don't know who or where they are but there is a possibility that they are still alive. This person is probably a witness, so whilst there is a possibility that this person is still alive, I want them found and they may be able to give us vital evidence in the murder of Cara MacDonald." John said to both CID and Uniform.

All the officers left as soon as the briefing was over. They were all feeling the loss of Caras' death but some officers more than others. Tony and Reg had known Alex since she was a little girl aged about 6. Jack had arrived as DCI when she was 10, so they had all seen her grow up and become a Mum herself. They had all known Cara since the day she was born and knew how much Alex doted on all of her children.

Tony and Reg were posted to a search of the area near the docks where Cara had been found. More officers were doing door to door enquiries on a street of houses about a quarter of a mile from the docks. They knew it was a bit of a long shot but they wanted all possibilities covered.

Also at the docks were Rodger, Callum, Millie, Mel, Leon and Arrun. The 4 newer recruits weren't aware of just how close to Cara many of the relief were, but sensed that everyone knew her.

"So did you know her well?" Millie asked them all.

"I met her once or twice but didn't know her very well. She seemed like a really nice kid." Callum replied.

"Yeah she was a fantastic kid. I've known her since she was born and seen her grow up.... well..." Tony explained before breaking off.

"I didn't realise you'd known them that long. I thought Sergeant Macdonald had only been at Sun Hill about 3 years." Mel said.

"She has only been Sergeant at Sun Hill for 3 years..." Tony began to explain.

"Is it really only 3 years? It feels so much longer." Reg added in disbelief.

"Yes it does feel much longer. Alexs' Granddad was Chief Superintendent at the station a very long time ago, even before I was there. He used to take her into the station when she was very little and then as she got older she came in every afternoon after school. Her Gran worked in the canteen as well. I've known Alex since she was 6 years old and watched her grow in to a wonderful young woman; I've seen her have a lot of heart ache over the years but she's always been strong enough to pull through." Tony explained. He had quite a paternal attachment to Alex and felt very protective of her.

"Do you think she'll be ok after losing her daughter?" Arrun asked.

"On the outside she'll act tough and as if she is absolutely fine; but really this will be killing her. She lives her life for her children, but pride and determination will push her on. The main thing we can do is look out for her and offer her whatever support she needs." Tony said before he looked up and saw something a few feet in front of them.

Once they had all seen the figure slumped in the tall grass, they ran towards him whilst Rodger called for an ambulance. Millie checked for a pulse whilst Tony looked for some ID.

"Hello Sir, can you hear me?" Millie said. She could feel a very weak pulse but he was still alive. "I've got a pulse but it's weak. He appears to have a gunshot wound to the abdomen." She continued to explain to her colleagues.

"Whoever left him here took his wallet, phone and anything else he had. There's no ID I'm afraid." Tony said feeling frustrated.

Within a few minutes the ambulance arrived to take the man to hospital; the paramedics wheeled him in to the back of the ambulance just as the Superintendent arrived after hearing what the officers had found.

"What are the paramedics saying?" He asked as he approached Tony.

"They think we may have found him just in time, but it is still too early to say for sure. He's lost a lot of blood from a gunshot wound to his stomach; and he is also suffering from hypothermia." Tony explained.

"Ok, Tony I want you and Reg to go with the guy to hospital in case he wakes up. If he does could you inform me immediately?" John asked.

"Sir." Came the replies from Tony and Reg in unison.

"If everyone else here could continue to look for more evidence. You have all done really well to get us this far, so please keep up the hard work and let's get a result for Alex and her family." John said to his officers.

They all turned back to their search whilst John made his way to Alex and Smithys house. He wanted to tell Alex the news personally. He approached her front door and rang the door bell. It was Smithy who answered after a few minutes.

"Have you had any news?" Smithy asked after inviting the Superintendent inside.

"Well we have made progress of sorts. Is Alex here?" John asked as Smithy showed him into the living room.

"She's upstairs having a lie down, she's exhausted." Smithy explained unaware Alex was actually behind him.

"I'm here Smithy it's fine." She said. She clearly looked shattered but was determined to carry on regardless.

"We have found the second gunshot victim close to the docks. He's been rushed to St Hughes and is luckily still alive but only just. It's still too early to say for sure if he'll pull through, but hopefully he will and he will be able to give us the information we need." John explained.

Alex remained silent but nodded her head in understanding. _Why couldn't this be Cara? _She thought bitterly.

"Do we know who he is?" Smithy asked.

"Not yet, unfortunately whoever shot him made sure there was nothing to identify him left at the scene. They took his wallet, mobile everything." John replied.

Alex didn't say anything but moved closer to Smithy, and he wrapped his arms protectively round her and kissed her forehead. She was so shell shocked that she didn't know what happened after this stage, even though she had dealt with cases like this many times before.

"When can I have her back? I want to arrange her funeral soon." She asked sounding almost emotionless but really it was exhaustion mixed with grief.

"Well I believe they finished the post mortem half an hour ago; so they are ready to release the body as soon as you are ready." John said calmly. He felt Alexs' pain and it made him think about his own daughter Charlie.

"Is it possible that I can see her?" Alex said as the tears began to joke her again.

"Yes of course you can. She will be moved to the chapel of rest at St Hughes and you are free to see her at any time you like." John said sympathetically.

"Thank you John for coming over, it's very much appreciated." Alex said to him as she led him out of the house.

"You're very welcome Alex, and if there is anything else I can do for you please don't hesitate to call me." He said to her before heading to his car. He genuinely meant every word he said.

At the hospital Reg and Tony waited patiently as doctors worked frantically to save the unidentified man's life. They spent about five hours drinking coffee and talking about anything to break the silence. Finally a doctor approached them to give them some news.

"We've stabilised the bleeding and removed the bullet. He looks to have been very lucky as the bullet didn't hit any vital organs, although we did have to remove his spleen and part of his intestine. This doesn't guarantee his survival but it does give him a better chance. He is being moved to ICU and will be monitored closely." He explained to the two constables.

"When do you expect him to come round?" Tony asked impatiently.

"Well I'm afraid I can't answer that; I wish I could, but especially in the circumstances there isn't even a guarantee he will come round." The Doctor explained.

"Sorry Doctor. I know you are under a lot of pressure just now, it's just... well so are we. This man could help give us vital evidence to a murder enquiry. The victim was the daughter of one of our colleagues and close friend whom we've known for a very long time. We're all desperate to get the people who did this." Tony explained sorrowfully.

"Well I promise that we will keep you informed." The Doctor replied before leaving the two officers to wait patiently for further news.

Alex, Smithy, Gina and Davey prepared themselves to see Cara in the Chapel of rest. Alex could hardly say a word to anyone because all her grief had hit her at once and the reality of what she was facing dawned on her. They were heading towards the Chapel when Alex decided that she wanted to see the other victim first.

"Are you sure that's a good idea Alex?" Gina said. She didn't want her daughter upsetting herself any more than she already was.

"Yeah I want to see him, I want to see if he's come round yet, or at least see how he is doing." She explained.

They all followed her through the corridors to ICU where Tony and Reg were still sat outside. When they saw Alex and her family they both stood up and approached her. Neither knew what to say to her, but were both shocked to see how fragile she appeared.

"Alex what are you doing here?" Tony asked.

"I wanted to see the guy we found. I wanted to see what he knows about Cara." She replied pushing back the tears.

"He hasn't regained consciousness yet. The Doctors successfully removed the bullet but along with some of his intestine and spleen. He might not wake up Alex." Reg said to the young Sergeant.

"What? But he's our only possible lead, without him we'll have nothing and whoever murdered my child will walk free." Alex exclaimed with frustration.

"There's still a chance he could pull through, it's just he hasn't come round yet. But I promise you Alex that as soon as he does you will be the first person we will inform." Tony said.

Alex sighed, nodded her head and then walked off without saying anymore. She headed towards the Chapel closely followed by her family. She pushed open the door and found Cara laid in the centre of the room. In the mortuary they had cleaned and dressed her wounds and covered her in a white sheet.

Alex slowly walked towards her daughter and couldn't help notice how much younger she looked. Smithy put his arm around her waist and Alex began to cry uncontrollably once more. He held her tightly and also began to sob as he allowed the emotions from the past few days to catch up with him.

Gina stood next to her daughter and held on to her own husband as she looked down at her granddaughter. She thought back to when Cara was born and couldn't understand why this had happened to them.

"How...how...do I p...pl...plan her funeral?" Alex stuttered through her sobs.

"Well we will all help, we won't leave you to do it all yourself." Gina replied quietly as she put her arm around her daughters' shoulders.

"Absolutely, I mean I'll close the pub for the day and we can have the wake there. I still have the number for the funeral directors who dealt with Trisha's funeral. They were brilliant and arranged everything." Davey added.

"Thanks." Alex replied before falling silent once again.

She stood next to her daughter and calmly stroked her hair and held her hand. Alex had been brought up a devout catholic and had continued to be as much as possible as she got older. Normally under these circumstances it would be her faith that she would turn to for comfort and help, but right now she couldn't understand why God was doing this to her.

"Don't ever give up on your faith. It's not Gods choice to do these things, he doesn't punish us." Davey tried explaining to Alex when she voiced her concerns to them. He too was a Catholic.

"So why is it that when I find a little bit of happiness, something horrendous always happens and takes it all away?" She shouted bitterly.

Alexs' grief was now turning into anger once again. She didn't mean to be angry with her Mum, Dad or husband, but right then they were the only people there to vent her frustrations on. They didn't hold it against her; they knew and understood that she needed to go through this.

"Hey Alex, come on it's ok. Instead of looking at all the bad, why don't you try to think about all the positives in your life? You have me and our children who are sat at home right now wondering where their Mummy is; you have a great family who are right behind you and wanting to support you and not to mention your friends. I know what has happened is absolutely killing you right now and I wish I could do something to remove that pain, but we'll get through together this step by step." Smithy said as he held his wife tightly.

"I know you're right but I don't even know where to begin to grieve. I don't feel that I have the right to, because I should have protected her. I knew the kind of people her Dad used to hold company with but I still allowed her to stay with him." Alex sobbed.

"Alex you can't blame yourself for something that David has done. He should have been the one to protect her and he didn't. He was the one who knew who had her and knew where she was but he failed to tell us that; we could have saved her but he chose to protect himself first." Gina said angrily.

Alex managed a weak smile at her Mum before she turned her attentions back to Cara.

"I don't want David at her funeral." Alex said firmly after a while.

"Well that's understandable." Gina said as she stood next to her daughter.

After that they didn't discuss anything more about the funeral but instead decided to share happy memories of Cara. They spent hours in the chapel comforting each other and spending their last remaining time with Cara before the coroners took her away.

Elsewhere in the hospital Tony and Reg were still sat outside ICU waiting for news on the victim. Doctors and nurses had continued to go in and out of the room but had brought no news for them. Finally one Doctor came out with the news they'd been waiting for.

"He's just regained consciousness and is talking. The pain killers we have given him are making him groggy and a bit incoherent but you can go in and speak to him now." The Doctor said to them.

"That's fantastic." Tony said before making his way through to the room.

Both officers walked in to find the young man hooked up to drips and all kind of machines. He turned to face them and groaned loudly when he saw them.

"I don't want no police." He said sounding groggy.

"Well I'm afraid you can't get a say in this." Tony replied looking at the young man.

"I don't want to pursue who shot me; I don't want to press charges or whatever." He added.

"Well unfortunately like I said you're not going to get a say in this because we want to know who shot the girl. We know you were there and you're the only witness we have. So if you could start at the beginning and try not to leave anything out." Tony explained rather irritated.

"I don't know anything so I've got nothing to say to you." The young man replied.

Tony and Reg realised they weren't going to get anything from him so decided to leave.

"Right well we'll leave you to think about it for a while, maybe you'll remember something later on." Reg said as he and Tony left.

"Let's get back to the station and let the Super and DCI know he's come round." Tony said as he stormed out of the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

Smithy sat at the kitchen table with a luke warm cup of coffee in front of him. He was staring into the middle distance in a world of his own thinking about his family. He had been so very close to Cara even though she hadn't been his daughter, and he didn't know himself where to begin grieving for her.

Alex had gone to bath the other children and put them to bed as it was getting on for 8 o'clock. She was exhausted physically and emotionally but she had insisted that she put the kids to bed herself. She realised that over the past week that she had been so caught up in her grief that she had almost 'forgotten' about the four little children at home 'wondering where their Mummy was', as Smithy had put it.

Once they were all settled and fast asleep, Alex walked wearily downstairs and saw Smithy at the table. She hadn't realised until now how tired he looked. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his cheek. He looked up at her and smiled weakly before taking hold of her hand and gently pulling her round and onto his knee. He then wrapped his arms around her waist, tightly and protectively as she leaned back against him, resting her head against his cheek.

"Are you alright?" He whispered to her.

"I'm not sure." She replied earnestly in a whisper. "I'm hurting so much right now that I don't know if I'm ever going to be alright ever again. I'm so scared that I'm going to forget what she was like. Does that sound stupid?" She added.

"We'll get through this together I promise, and no that doesn't sound stupid at all. I remember when Kerry died that I was terrified that I was going to forget what she looked like, what she sounded like, what her personality was like, all of the important things that made Kerry who she was. It's just over 4 years since she died and I can remember every single last detail about her as if I only saw her yesterday. I realised that when you love someone, they don't just suddenly stop existing in your heart or in your memories. I know that I will always love Kerry and because that love is always alive so is she, and that is the same for Cara. She was your daughter and no parent should ever have to go through this but we will always keep her memory alive and you will always love her no matter what." Smithy explained as he looked up slightly into Alexs' eyes.

"Why are you so wonderful? You always know the right kind of things to say to me." She said as she gentle pressed her lips against his and then rested her forehead against him.

"Well it's because I love you and I know you too well I guess." He replied with a slight smile as he held Alex closely. "Come on, I think we should go to bed and get an early night." He added as he tried to dislodge a reluctant Alex from his knee.

"Aww I just got comfy as well." She replied sounding almost like her normal self.

They headed towards the stairs and were just about to climb up when their doorbell rang.

"Damn it!" Alex said as she stepped back.

She pulled open the door to see John stood on her doorstep.

"Sorry to call on you like this but we've got some news on the gunshot victim." He said as Alex invited him in.

Smithy came back down to hear what his Superintendent had to say.

"He came round and regained consciousness a short while ago. He hasn't given us his name yet and has refused to give us a statement about the shooting, but we'll question him again in the morning once he's had time to think about it." John explained.

"Great so he doesn't want to help me catch the bastard who murdered my child." Alex replied sounding angry again.

"I know this must be frustrating for you Alex, but please have a little bit of patience." John pleaded.

"I know everyone is doing their very best and I appreciate that I really do; it's just so hard being on this side of the investigation." She replied managing a weak smile.

"We'll keep you informed I promise and I will get the person who did this, you have my word on that." He said before turning towards the door.

"Thank you Sir." Both Alex and Smithy replied.

"Right come on you, bed now." Smithy jokingly ordered his wife as he steered her up the stairs and into their room.

At the hospital the next morning Sam, John and Jack were trying to persuade the gunshot victim (whose name they found out was Alexander Cross). He still refused to give them any information and the officers were feeling increasingly more frustrated.

They walked back out into the corridor and came face to face with Alex and Smithy.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked.

"I want to talk to him." Alex replied simply.

"No way Alex; you know the rules and there's no way you're getting in there." Sam replied firmly.

"Oh so he's told you everything has he? Who the kidnappers were? Who it was that shot my child? No? Well then what have we got to lose?" Alex said.

"She's got a point Sam. Look I'll go in with her, but we should trust her to remain professional. We can do that can't we?" Jack said caringly.

"Well you know me Jack, ever the professional eh?" She replied with a slight smile.

Jack led her into the small hospital room. Alexander looked at the people who had entered and groaned when he saw them.

"I've told ya already, I ain't givin' you a statement." He said with a strong east end accent.

Alex didn't reply to his comment but walked up to his bedside and sat in the chair next to him.

"My name is Alex Macdonald and I'm Caras' Mum, or rather I was until a few days ago. The girl who was shot dead was my child, my baby, and I can't begin to explain to you how I am feeling right now." Alex began to explain calmly as she pulled several photos of Cara out of her pocket. "This was her on her first birthday, she was always such a smiley child, always laughing. " Alex explained as she showed him each picture of Cara at a different stage of her life, until finally she took out the family photo of her, Smithy, Cara, Molly and the twins, taken earlier that year. "This was our family, happy, loving, and we look out for each other. We've lost a huge part of that family now and we need to know why and how this happened, but most importantly who did this? You have some if not all the answers and you could help us get the justice we deserve." Alex said to him.

Alexander thought for a few moments before replying.

"I tried to help her you know." He began to open up.

"Help her? Help her in what way?" Alex asked.

"I swear I had no idea they were taking someone hostage, especially not a kid. My uncle was one of the men who kidnapped her. He told me that he needed me to look after something for them, told me to meet them at the garage. When I got there she was crying and looked distraught. All I had to do was sit and make sure she didn't escape until they got back. I don't know where they went or anything but they were gone for hours. She wouldn't stop crying and I felt really bad for her so I removed her gag. We started talking and she said she was hungry so I nipped out to get her a sandwich and something to drink. She seemed so grateful and I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to let her go. I undid the ropes and told her to make a run for it, but as she did my uncle and some other men returned. I heard two gunshots as my uncle went after her, then he returned and told two of the guys to go get her body and drag her back to the garage. Then they turned on me and shot me for betraying them." He explained to them.

"Who is your Uncle?" Jack asked.

"Archie Foster. I should have known better than to go against him but I'm not like them, honest I'm not." He pleaded.

"I believe you Alexander, and I promise if you testify against them we will get you the protection you deserve." Alex said as she took hold of his hand.

"I can't go against him again; he's already tried to kill me once." Alexander replied sounding panicked.

"What's to stop him coming and trying to finish the job? We can put you in witness protection as soon as the trial is over." Jack added.

"Promise you'll think about it please? Until then we'll post two armed officers outside your door 24-7." Alex said.

"Ok I'll think about it, but I'm not promising I'll go ahead with it." He replied.

"Thank you Alexander; and thank you for trying to save her." Alex said and she genuinely meant it.

She stood up and headed towards the doors, closely followed by Jack.

"Oh just one more thing Mr Cross. You said two men were sent to get Caras' body, why didn't they carry the order out?" Jack said just before leaving.

"I'm not sure but I think they said someone was watching them.

"Alright thank you." Jack said as he closed the doors and joined his colleagues in the corridor.


	7. Chapter 7

The three officers went back to the station with the information that Alexander had given them, Alex went home to be with her family.

"Right everyone can we have your attention please?" Jack shouted round CID as he walked in with Sam. The Super had gone to give the same information to uniform. "As you all know the victim of the shooting came round last night but refused to give us any details. Well this morning Alex went to the hospital to speak to him, and has persuaded him to give us the information we need; although that doesn't necessarily mean he is going to testify. His name is Alexander Cross and is the nephew of Archie Foster and it was Archie who shot Cara." Jack explained to his team. He went on to tell them exactly what Alexander had told them about the events before and after the shooting, and that he thought someone had been watching them.

"When everyone was making their enquiries, did anyone tell you they saw someone close by looking suspicious or anything that could help us identify whoever was near the docks?" Sam asked.

"Well there was this one gentleman Stuart and I spoke to at number 42 Heatherly Gardens, Mr George Beltham; he seemed really nervous and I thought he was hiding something Gov'." Jo explained to her senior officers.

"What makes you think that then Jo?" Jack asked with curiosity.

"He was very agitated and kept contradicting himself. At first he told us that he hadn't been out all night, but later he let slip that he'd taken his dog for a walk at around 5.30am. He reckoned that he was nowhere near the docks or surrounding area, saying he'd gone along Bellfield Avenue away from the river; but when we looked at the shoes on the front step they were covered in reasonably fresh mud. Now no one has been allowed near the docks since Cara was found so he couldn't have picked it up then, but it was too fresh for it to have happened before." Jo explained as she looked at her notes.

"Right good he might know more than he is letting on. Is it possible he is part of it?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so ma'am, we checked him on crimmint and he's clean. It's possible that he did see Foster shoot Cara but is too scared to say so." Stuart explained.

"Do you think we could get him to come to the station to answer some questions?" Jo asked. "I mean he might feel safer and more comfortable here than at home."

"I think it might be worth a shot, but if he doesn't come willingly there's not a lot we can do. We can't arrest him until we have evidence that he is lying to us. So if you two want to go speak to him after the briefing that would be great but let me know what the outcome is first." Jack said to his two officers before turning his attentions back to the rest of his team. "Finally, Cara's funeral is tomorrow afternoon and Alex and Smithy have said that if any member of the relief wants to go, then they are more than welcome. DI's Nixon and Manson will be there along with me and the Superintendent. There is a collection going to be going round later today to buy a wreath from the station if you want to chip in. Right well that's it for now." Jack added as he ended the briefing.

Jo and Stuart headed straight to Mr Beltham's house, hoping they could persuade him to help them. Stuart turned the car into the narrow road that lead into Heatherly Gardens and drove slowly as they looked at the house numbers.

"36....38....40....42!" Jo said as she looked out of the window, squinting at the house numbers.

Stuart stopped the car before they pulled out their warrant cards and approached the door. Jo rang the doorbell and at once heard the gruff barking of a large dog. Mr Beltham opened the door slightly, but struggled to hold back the dog that was fighting hard against him to ward of the people at his door.

"Can I help you?" The gentleman asked once he'd secured the dog in his living room.

"Hi Sir, I'm DC Masters and this is DS Turner we spoke to you before about the shooting on the river side. We were wondering if you wouldn't mind coming down to the station to help us with a few enquiries." Jo explained politely.

"Why do you want me to come down to the station? I've not done anything wrong." Mr Beltham replied.

"No Sir you haven't done anything wrong; but we believe you may be withholding some important information that we need to discuss with you." Jo said.

The gentleman thought about it for a few seconds before he grabbed his coat from the hook beside him, and followed the two officers to their car.

Once they had arrived at the station, Jo took him into the soft interview room. She made them a cup of tea before she began to question him.

"Ok Mr Beltham, we believe that you saw something on the river side when a young girl was shot dead. We have reason to believe you were there walking your dog around the time of the incident, and we believe that you haven't been completely honest with us. I can't begin to stress to you Sir how important it is that you help us." Jo explained to him.

He looked at her for a few seconds and thought about what it was he was going to say.

"I'm sorry; I wasn't trying to be deliberately difficult. I was scared about what would happen to me if they found out I had seen them and said something to you." Mr Beltham explained cautiously.

"Alright Mr Beltham we understand you were scared, but please help us now. We want to stop these men from doing this to anyone else." Stuart said.

"I took my dog out at the usual time, five o'clock, for his walk. We walked a long Broad Lane, Helmsbury Avenue and then into the waste ground at the back. We then walked through to Woodside Crescent and down on to footpath that runs above the river bank. I didn't see anyone around and everything seemed quite until I heard footsteps running below me; that's when I heard the first gunshot a few meters away from me. I ducked down behind the wall and heard a young girl cry out in pain. She wasn't too far away from me but they couldn't see me because it was dark and higher up, but I could see her and I saw a man approach her and then shoot her in the head. She pleaded for her life you know and he just calmly pulled the trigger. I waited for a few moments and watched as the man walked off out of sight, then two other men approached but I think they saw me and ran off before they got a chance to do anything else." He explained nervously.

"Do you think you could identify any of the men you saw?" Jo asked hopefully.

"I don't think so I'm afraid. It was just beginning to get light so it was still too dark for me to be able to get a clear view of who it was." He replied genuinely looking saddened.

"Would you still be willing to do a video identification?" Stuart pressed.

"Yes of course I will. How is the girl's family? The papers are saying she's the daughter of an officer at this station." He asked.

"Yeah that's right she was, her Mum and Step Dad both work here and we're doing all we can for them." Jo said with a slight smile before heading back up to CID.

As she closed the door again behind her, the DCI approached her looking hopeful that they'd got something.

"Well has he given you anything?" Jack asked quickly.

"He was there at the time of the shooting and saw a man shoot Cara, two other men then approached her but they saw him before they got a chance to do anything further. He doesn't think he can identify any of them though because it was still too dark to make them out clearly." Jo explained.

"Damn it!!" Jack exclaimed. He was clearly beginning to feel the strain of the investigation. "Well we've had some good news of sorts, Fosters car was caught by CCTV driving towards the docks just minutes before Cara was shot. Unfortunately without a positive identification we can't prove anything." He added.

"Well he's agreed to do a video parade anyway just in case he saw more than he thinks."Stuart added.

"Right well once you have the computer set up come and get me, I want to be there when he does it." Jack said before heading off towards custody.

Jo and Stuart headed up to CID to get the laptop sorted with mug shots of various suspects amongst which were photos of Foster and well known associates.

Elsewhere at the seven bells, Alex was organising the food and drinks for the wake. Her family were worried about how much she was taking on with the funeral. She hadn't stopped since the coroners had released Cara's body. She had even started shutting her family out and they all knew that once the funeral was over it was going to hit her hard.

"Do you think we have enough food?" She asked her Mum as Gina came in with Nicola close by her side.

"Yeah I think you've got more than enough." Gina replied cautiously. She had been trying to find the right moment for a few days to tell her daughter to slow down, but realised that there never was going to be a right time. "Sweetheart don't you think you should take it easy for a while? There are plenty of other people to help out here, you should get some rest."

"Rest? I don't need to rest I'm absolutely fine." Alex insisted as she continued to move plates and glasses.

"Alex we're all worried about you. You haven't stopped in the last few days and you look exhausted; Smithy has said that you haven't been sleeping and I don't think you've eaten properly since Cara died. You are going to end up making yourself seriously ill if you carry on." Gina said slightly more firmly than she had intended.

Alex looked at her for a few seconds before replying.

"So what do you suggest I do? Curl up in a corner somewhere and crumble into a heap? I don't do crumbling heaps and public breakdowns, you of all people should know and understand that." Alex replied fiercely.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it; but you can't expect me to sit back and do nothing as you make yourself ill and run yourself into the ground." Gina replied more softly.

"I'm really sorry I don't mean to be so harsh to you or anyone else, but especially not to you. I know everyone means well but I have never liked getting help or sympathy. I wonder where I get that from." She replied more calmly with a slight smile.

"I have no idea where you get it from, certainly isn't me." Gina also smiled. "Come let's go through and get a sit down and a drink." She added as she led Alex in to the main part of the pub.

Alex sat at a table in a quiet corner and looked around her. The pub was surprisingly quiet for a Tuesday afternoon. Some people were sat around having lunch or a chat. Gina had gone up to the bar to get the three of them a drink and something to eat before returning to her daughters.

"They're gonna bring over some chips for us when they're ready." Gina said as she handed Alex and Nicola a glass of orange juice each.

"I want to say I'm sorry again for the way I've been the last few days. I'm just finding it hard to let go I guess." Alex said as she looked at her glass.

"Nobody is saying you have to let go, but you have to let yourself grieve." Gina explained. "Are you going to say anything tomorrow?"

"I wasn't going to but I think I will now. I also chose a poem, Autumn rain which Smithy is going to read out with Molly. She wanted to say something bless her. What about you? She was really close you and I still think you should say something." Alex said.

"Like you I wasn't going to, but your Dad and I were talking about what he was going to say and decided that we'd quite like to do it together." Gina said sorrowfully. She still couldn't believe Cara had gone.

They sat and talked for a while, comforting each other, before Davey came to join them; Smithy also joined them later on in the afternoon. They stayed together in the pub until closing time and Alex dreaded going home; partly because she knew Cara wouldn't be there to greet her, but also because she knew that the next day was drawing ever closer.

Once they arrived home Smithy went to say goodnight to the kids. His Mum Pauline had been babysitting for them for a few hours. Alex went into the kitchen to stick the kettle on.

"Would you like a drink Pauline?" Alex asked politely but sounding exhausted.

"No thanks Alex, I should be heading home. If you need anything tomorrow, just let me know ok?" Pauline replied as she kissed her daughter-in-law on the cheek before making her way out to the car.

Smithy walked into the kitchen, he also looked exhausted and felt emotionally drained. He walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. Alex looked up at him with a weak smile and placed her hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been lately, I haven't been very fair to you or my Mum in the last couple of days." Alex said to him.

"It's ok I understand how you feel and I know how you deal with these situations, but Gina was right you know you should take it easier and let us help you." He replied, kissing Alex on the forehead.

"I know, I know; but firing on with everything it's blocking out the pain and helping me to forget that my baby girl is never coming home. I feel like someone has removed one of my limbs." Alex explained quietly as she sobbed.

Smithy held her closer and didn't say anything more but let her sob for a while. He hated seeing her like this, but he realised that she needed to do this in order to move on.

"Come on let's get you to bed. It's going to be a really hard day tomorrow and you need to get all the rest you can." He whispered as he led her out of the kitchen still holding her tightly.

Alex hadn't told David when the funeral was going to be taking place or where. After everything he had put her through she couldn't bear the thought of having him anywhere near her or her family. She still couldn't believe he had put his own life before his daughters', and that thought made Alex feel sick to the pit of her stomach.

At 11 o'clock the next morning Alex was wearing a knee length black dress and cardigan. She had her blonde hair tied up into a short ponytail. She was trying to get the kids ready but they were more interested in running round playing cops and robbers. Alex couldn't help smiling as she watched Smithy grab hold of 22 month old Alexander and tickle him playfully.

"Come on you, we have to get ready because we're going somewhere very important." Alex heard him explain.

She took hold of Molly and helped her get dressed into her favourite pair of dungarees. Alex always thought she looked really sweet and innocent when she wore them, but she knew that Molly always had the habit of climbing things in them or rolling in the mud. Molly was a proper tomboy just like her Mum had always been. Baby Gina was a little bit more girly and liked wearing anything that was pink. Alex loved being a Mum and loved looking after her family, and that was what made losing her child even harder.

By the time 12 o'clock came everyone was ready to leave. Gina, Davey and Nicola arrived shortly after and they made their way out to the cars that were waiting for them. Alex and Smithy sat silently in the back holding tightly on to each other with their four children sat beside them. The cars pulled into the church yard and drove towards the few people who had arrived already.

Alex composed herself before she got out of the car. Smithy helped her out followed by Molly, baby Gina, and the twins Esther and Alexander.

"You alrigh'?" Smithy whispered to her subtly as she looked uncomfortably at the few people already there.

"Yeah I'm ok. I was looking to make sure that David wasn't here." She replied once she was satisfied her ex husband wasn't around.

Gina, Davey, Nicola, Ruth, Heather and Andy joined Alex and Smithy in front of the church as more and more people arrived. A number of people joined them from the station; most of uniform and CID and turned up to pay their respects.

At five to one Alex was preparing herself for the arrival of the hearse, but instead of seeing the black car coming towards her she saw David walking up the church path. Feeling furious she marched up to him ready to punch and hurt him as much as possible.

"What the bloody hell do you think you are doing here?" She shouted.

"I've come to the funeral of my daughter, I have as much right to be here as you Alex." He replied defensively.

"David you have no rights to be here. If it wasn't for you she wouldn't be dead in the first place. You knew who had her all along and you never said anything. I don't want you here; I don't want you anywhere near me so just go." Alex shouted more angrily as she tried to push him.

"No Alex I'm staying." He insisted.

Smithy walked angrily towards David and defended his wife.

"She doesn't want you here now just go." He said.

"David I'm here today to bury my baby girl, who because of you is dead. You've never done anything but cause me pain and hassle and now you won't even let me bury my child in peace. Please David just go before I do something I will regret." Alex said more calmly.

Smithy stared at David for a few moments before Smithy made a step towards him.

"You heard her; now go before I do some serious damage." He said threatening as the hearse drove towards them.

Defeated David walked slowly out of the church yard and back out on to the main road. Alex joined the rest of her family once again as the hearse pulled up. Smithy, Davey, and Alex's brother's Cameron and Andy, took hold of the white coffin and placed it on their shoulders. They all marched slowly into the church, closely followed by Alex, Gina and the children. The other mourners from Cara's school, friends, family, neighbours and anyone else who had the pleasure of knowing her followed the family in to the church and sat quietly down. Cara's coffin was placed at the front along with a wreath of her name and a large photo showing her happy smiley face.

The ceremony started with a few prayers and speeches from a couple of Caras' class mates. Alex sat quietly clinging on to Smithy as she listened to what was being said. The whole situation felt very surreal and she didn't think the day's events would ever truly sink in. When her turn to speak arrived she gingerly went to stand up before she felt a hand on her wrist.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Smithy asked lovingly.

"No thanks, I think I'll be ok." She replied with a weak smile.

She walked steadily towards the coffin and stood at the lectern at the front of the church. She looked round at all the people in front of her and then at her family who were sat on the front row. She saw Smithy give a slight smile and a nod.

"First of all I would like to thank you all for being here today. I never thought I'd live to see this day, never live to see the day when I'd have to bury my own child. Even in my worst nightmares I could never have imagined this. Cara was a great child, and she had her whole life ahead of her." Alex said as she struggled to fight back her tears. "Cara and I had our differences and we had our disagreements but she was still my pride and joy, my life. I will always be really proud of her no matter what and she will always be my little girl. She'd have hated me talking about her like this, she'd have been like oh shut up now Mum; but that was her all over, she hated attention, hated being in the spotlight and was always really modest...." Alex began to break down as she thought about her daughter's personality and started to consider all of the things she would miss.

Smithy stood up and walked over to her, placing his arms around her shoulders he guided her back to her seat where she began to cry uncontrollably. Smithy held on to her tightly as he comforted her, and seeing their Mum so distressed made Alexs' other children upset.

As the service came to an end Smithy staid with Alex and let her Uncle stand in his place as the coffin was taken outside and led towards Caras' final resting place. At the graveside one last prayer was said before her coffin was lowered into the ground. The other mourners gradually left and headed towards the Seven Bells for refreshments.

Alex couldn't bear the thought of leaving the graveside; she didn't want to leave Cara on her own. Gina, Davey and Smithy staid with her as the kids ran round playing with each other. Ruth and Heather walked back towards them when they realised that they had not followed.

"Is everything ok?" Ruth asked Gina quietly.

"Yeah I think everything's ok, it's just Alex needs a little more time. Do you think you could take the children to the pub and we'll meet you there shortly?" She said to them quietly.

"Of course we can no problem at all." Heather replied.

They walked off together with the five children in tow, leaving the other three to comfort Alex. Smithy wrapped his arms round Alex as she stood looking at the grave. No one said anything for a while but stood silently thinking and looking at the freshly made grave. Alex glanced over to the grave beside Cara's and read the words engraved on the gravestone...

James Fraser

Born 30th of June 1993

Died 24th of March 1994

Alex had decided to bury Cara next to her brother Jamie who had died in a car accident when he was nine months old.

"He'd have been 15 by now." Alex commented. "To bury one child is bad enough, but two..." She added before breaking off.

"I know this is really hard for you Alex but you have to let yourself grieve and we're always here for you to talk to." Gina said as she hugged her daughter comfortingly. "Come on let's get you into the warmth." She added.

The four of them walked the short distance to the Seven Bells where everyone sat enjoying the food and a drink. Alex didn't want to be bothered by anyone at the moment, so she quietly went upstairs into one of the bedrooms to rest for a while.


End file.
